1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,059 Oh, that's great. I'll run it as an opening number. But, by the way, where's 2 00:00:04,059 --> 00:00:07,120 Flash? He sometimes has trouble with punctuality. 3 00:00:07,400 --> 00:00:09,940 Oh, Flash, where were you? 4 00:00:10,500 --> 00:00:11,500 Oh, man. 5 00:00:11,520 --> 00:00:13,700 Rough day, man. Sneak around the back. 6 00:00:14,160 --> 00:00:15,160 What did he say? 7 00:00:15,440 --> 00:00:18,960 He said he was forced to sneak around the back door to avoid them. 8 00:00:19,300 --> 00:00:20,300 To avoid who? 9 00:00:20,440 --> 00:00:21,480 The groupies, man. 10 00:00:23,480 --> 00:00:24,480 Hey. 11 00:00:26,080 --> 00:00:27,080 Hey, man. 12 00:00:29,270 --> 00:00:32,650 I don't know what he said, but you better cut to the opening title. That's 13 00:00:32,650 --> 00:00:33,650 he said. 14 00:01:14,570 --> 00:01:15,570 And welcome to our show. 15 00:01:16,150 --> 00:01:20,090 It's going to be a particularly special show because the lion is featured in 16 00:01:20,090 --> 00:01:20,988 tonight's story. 17 00:01:20,990 --> 00:01:22,070 Isn't that true, lion? 18 00:01:23,010 --> 00:01:27,290 It's a tale told by the storyteller, and it's called The True Bride. 19 00:01:27,850 --> 00:01:31,270 Anya, don't be frightened. 20 00:01:32,390 --> 00:01:33,850 I've come to help you. 21 00:01:34,150 --> 00:01:35,350 Where have you come from? 22 00:01:35,850 --> 00:01:36,870 From your thoughts. 23 00:01:37,250 --> 00:01:41,730 Is there no one in the wide world to take pity on me, you thought? 24 00:01:42,470 --> 00:01:43,470 Well, there is. 25 00:01:44,259 --> 00:01:45,440 And here I am. 26 00:01:47,000 --> 00:01:48,000 Wait a second. 27 00:01:48,640 --> 00:01:50,020 Did I just see you talking that? 28 00:01:51,180 --> 00:01:52,340 You talked in that story. 29 00:01:53,920 --> 00:01:55,400 Are you ever going to talk on our show? 30 00:01:56,380 --> 00:01:57,440 I doubt it. 31 00:01:59,300 --> 00:02:03,180 Well, anyway, in the first part of our show, I'm sure Kermit has a fast and 32 00:02:03,180 --> 00:02:04,360 funny half -hour planned. 33 00:02:05,020 --> 00:02:06,020 Isn't that true, Kermit? 34 00:02:10,090 --> 00:02:14,190 Guys, would you all just be... Can you be quiet for just a second? Let me... 35 00:02:14,190 --> 00:02:16,650 Flash, can you do something about this? 36 00:02:19,430 --> 00:02:20,430 Shh! 37 00:02:21,110 --> 00:02:22,110 Thank you. 38 00:02:22,210 --> 00:02:27,410 Yes, on tonight's show, we have a ghost story from Fozzie Bear, and we have a 39 00:02:27,410 --> 00:02:30,890 special treat from our musical guest star, Buster Poindexter. Yes. 40 00:02:31,170 --> 00:02:32,930 And all of this is coming up in a flash. 41 00:02:54,190 --> 00:02:58,130 What happened to your groupies? Well... And over here is where I keep my gumdrop 42 00:02:58,130 --> 00:03:01,290 collection. Oh, gumdrops. That is so cute. 43 00:03:02,150 --> 00:03:04,450 He's even cuter than... What's his name? 44 00:03:04,710 --> 00:03:09,370 All right, Digit. Digit, you got the music video queued up? Yes, Kermit. All 45 00:03:09,370 --> 00:03:10,430 good. Hey, gather around. 46 00:03:49,000 --> 00:03:52,420 My shoes, you know, we can't lose as long as the music keeps rolling along. 47 00:03:52,780 --> 00:03:55,020 I make my own decisions. 48 00:03:55,700 --> 00:03:57,840 I go by my own rules. 49 00:03:58,080 --> 00:04:01,820 I got to live the life I want to. I love food. 50 00:04:02,120 --> 00:04:03,120 There you go. 51 00:04:04,000 --> 00:04:08,400 Sometimes muddy water winds up on my path. 52 00:04:59,050 --> 00:05:00,610 Ain't no time to stop. 53 00:05:00,950 --> 00:05:04,570 Smile that smile and take us to the top. 54 00:05:04,850 --> 00:05:05,850 Yeah. 55 00:05:06,430 --> 00:05:08,490 When you get that feeling. 56 00:06:14,939 --> 00:06:17,940 That was really fantastic. You guys can really. 57 00:06:22,250 --> 00:06:24,230 Well, the synthesizers were really well played. 58 00:06:24,450 --> 00:06:26,130 That's all done on the computer. 59 00:06:26,450 --> 00:06:27,650 Even the drums? 60 00:06:27,870 --> 00:06:28,870 Drum machine. 61 00:06:29,590 --> 00:06:31,010 The singing? 62 00:06:31,270 --> 00:06:32,610 Digital harmonizer. 63 00:06:33,290 --> 00:06:35,970 Well, how do you guys know you're actually musicians? 64 00:06:36,330 --> 00:06:38,870 Hey, who else would dress like this? 65 00:06:51,790 --> 00:06:54,750 you to organize the closing number. Sorry, but I won't be here. 66 00:06:55,050 --> 00:06:55,849 You're what? 67 00:06:55,850 --> 00:06:59,630 I won't be here for the closing number. I'm judging a poultry show on the other 68 00:06:59,630 --> 00:07:00,630 side of town. 69 00:07:00,710 --> 00:07:03,930 Gonzo, how could you do this to me? I know. It's a difficult choice. 70 00:07:04,250 --> 00:07:07,350 That's not a difficult choice. You're right. Poultry comes first. 71 00:07:09,090 --> 00:07:10,570 That's Digit. What's he doing? 72 00:07:12,490 --> 00:07:13,490 Uh, 73 00:07:14,750 --> 00:07:15,750 Digit. 74 00:07:16,850 --> 00:07:19,750 Digit's the only person in the world that I know with real headphones. 75 00:07:20,280 --> 00:07:22,440 He actually has little speakers inside of his head. 76 00:07:23,260 --> 00:07:24,920 Hey, Digit, turn it down. 77 00:07:25,180 --> 00:07:28,460 Turn down the volume, Digit. Oh, hi, Kermit. Hi. 78 00:07:28,680 --> 00:07:31,740 Sorry, I just can't get that song out of my head. 79 00:07:32,000 --> 00:07:33,580 Well, let me turn down your volume here. 80 00:07:35,420 --> 00:07:37,180 Thank you. Hey, look. 81 00:07:38,140 --> 00:07:41,900 Oh, it's Buster Poindexter on the Guest Star Channel. 82 00:07:42,240 --> 00:07:45,600 Oh, yeah, he's doing our closing production number tonight. It's a remote 83 00:07:45,600 --> 00:07:46,600 nightclub across town. 84 00:07:50,669 --> 00:07:54,790 They were here just a minute ago. Gee, who knows? 85 00:07:55,150 --> 00:07:57,210 Maybe it's a satellite feed. 86 00:07:57,450 --> 00:07:59,690 Or maybe they recorded this earlier. 87 00:08:00,390 --> 00:08:02,170 Maybe it's a special effect. 88 00:08:02,510 --> 00:08:05,370 You know television manipulates the heck out of you. 89 00:08:05,590 --> 00:08:07,030 Hey, did you take the guest star channel? 90 00:08:07,370 --> 00:08:08,370 Oh, certainly, boss. 91 00:08:09,070 --> 00:08:14,310 Yeah, you know, Buster, like, we're, you know, really impressed with the way you 92 00:08:14,310 --> 00:08:17,130 combine incredible style with incredible... 93 00:08:17,930 --> 00:08:20,350 Well, gee, thanks a lot, Beard. That's very nice. 94 00:08:20,570 --> 00:08:25,970 Being a fellow cool person, could there be something you could help us with, 95 00:08:26,110 --> 00:08:27,590 show business -wise? 96 00:08:28,010 --> 00:08:32,570 Well, there is something I could do for you. Oh, really? How's that? I can share 97 00:08:32,570 --> 00:08:36,870 the truth with you, right? You want your musical cries for love and global 98 00:08:36,870 --> 00:08:39,409 understanding heard by a sympathetic universe? 99 00:08:39,750 --> 00:08:43,090 Yeah! You want success, fame, and fortune? 100 00:08:43,309 --> 00:08:44,310 Oh, yeah! 101 00:08:44,390 --> 00:08:47,170 My friends, you must work! You must go... 102 00:08:54,050 --> 00:08:56,110 I knew I could get rid of them somehow. 103 00:08:57,870 --> 00:08:59,930 Okay, well, we'll be back to Buster later. 104 00:09:00,330 --> 00:09:02,950 Hey, tell me, Digit, what do you have coming in on the satellite that might 105 00:09:02,950 --> 00:09:04,370 raise the tone of the show? 106 00:09:04,630 --> 00:09:10,870 Oh, well, there's fish wrestling, how to tie dye waffles, and the old classical 107 00:09:10,870 --> 00:09:11,870 drama channel. 108 00:09:12,610 --> 00:09:16,950 Well, let's see. I hate fish wrestling, and we're sick of multicolored waffles, 109 00:09:17,050 --> 00:09:21,350 and I don't want more drama, so I'll try the toy tea party. Channel 16. 110 00:09:23,690 --> 00:09:25,430 What are you waiting for, Boots? The tea party. 111 00:09:26,750 --> 00:09:29,190 Oh, look. Your first guest is here. 112 00:09:30,710 --> 00:09:34,390 I'm so glad you could come to my tea party, Talking Teddy. 113 00:09:35,090 --> 00:09:36,670 Hi, I'm Talking Teddy. 114 00:09:36,890 --> 00:09:38,170 Would you like to give me a kiss? 115 00:09:38,490 --> 00:09:39,490 Sure. 116 00:09:39,950 --> 00:09:40,950 Hi, 117 00:09:41,450 --> 00:09:44,070 Boots. Am I interrupting? 118 00:09:44,870 --> 00:09:47,910 Brad, I'd like to introduce you to... 119 00:09:54,060 --> 00:09:56,020 I thought this was going to be tea for two. 120 00:09:56,280 --> 00:09:58,640 But that wouldn't be a real tea party, Brad. 121 00:09:58,900 --> 00:10:02,300 Now sit down and make some chit -chat with Teddy. 122 00:10:02,700 --> 00:10:03,700 All right. 123 00:10:03,840 --> 00:10:05,020 How are you, Teddy? 124 00:10:05,240 --> 00:10:07,820 Keep your hands off my string, final breath. 125 00:10:08,960 --> 00:10:10,720 There's one more guest coming. 126 00:12:03,560 --> 00:12:06,920 Don't be silly. You're standing right in front of me. No, I'm not. I'm at the 127 00:12:06,920 --> 00:12:10,820 poultry show where any sane man would be. But I knew you'd miss me, so before 128 00:12:10,820 --> 00:12:13,100 left, I had myself pre -recorded. 129 00:12:13,400 --> 00:12:18,280 What? If you don't believe me, ask Digit. But, uh, how, if you're pre 130 00:12:18,280 --> 00:12:19,800 how can you possibly answer my questions? 131 00:12:20,000 --> 00:12:23,220 I'm just very good at predicting what you're going to say next, Kermit. 132 00:12:23,580 --> 00:12:25,980 Gonzo, that is absolutely the most... 133 00:12:41,200 --> 00:12:42,460 got your remote control with you? 134 00:12:42,960 --> 00:12:45,120 Yep. I'm on tape deck four. 135 00:12:47,120 --> 00:12:53,780 If you want to prove it, try rewinding me a little. You got your remote 136 00:12:53,780 --> 00:12:54,780 control with you? 137 00:12:55,200 --> 00:12:59,700 Yep. He's pre -recorded, all right. I'm on tape deck four. Yes, yes, we know 138 00:12:59,700 --> 00:13:02,800 that. Of course you know that. You've watched that part of me twice now. 139 00:13:12,110 --> 00:13:14,730 don't leave a message at the beep, he'll get right back to you. 140 00:13:15,050 --> 00:13:16,050 Beep! 141 00:13:17,170 --> 00:13:19,910 Little geek must have stopped taking his medication. 142 00:13:20,870 --> 00:13:23,590 You know, that's the worst tape of Gonzo I've ever seen. 143 00:13:24,130 --> 00:13:25,130 Oh, dear. 144 00:13:25,310 --> 00:13:26,310 A power failure. 145 00:13:26,410 --> 00:13:27,410 This could be serious. 146 00:13:27,690 --> 00:13:28,750 This could be an emergency. 147 00:13:30,910 --> 00:13:33,730 Uh -oh. It must be time for the ghost story. 148 00:13:35,250 --> 00:13:36,730 Is anybody else around? 149 00:13:41,260 --> 00:13:42,260 Is that you? 150 00:13:42,760 --> 00:13:46,120 I hate this part. 151 00:13:52,020 --> 00:13:56,760 I'm afraid this is the only room we rent out anymore. 152 00:13:57,260 --> 00:13:58,620 I'm sure it'll be wonderful. 153 00:14:00,700 --> 00:14:03,200 Adequate. Very tolerable. 154 00:14:03,520 --> 00:14:07,760 No one comes around here much now that the new highway's open. Yeah, well, see, 155 00:14:07,800 --> 00:14:09,180 I took a wrong turn and... 156 00:14:35,210 --> 00:14:38,010 I'm going to Wall Street to become a big -time stockbroker. 157 00:14:38,570 --> 00:14:41,110 Get ahead and be wealthy. 158 00:14:41,690 --> 00:14:48,470 Yes. Yes, sir. I figure that I have an aptitude for bear market. Wall Street, 159 00:14:48,550 --> 00:14:49,550 I'm a bear. 160 00:14:49,570 --> 00:14:51,310 And another thing. Yes, ma 'am. 161 00:14:51,630 --> 00:14:56,130 Whatever you do, don't open that closet door. 162 00:14:56,510 --> 00:14:58,030 What, this closet right over here? 163 00:14:58,410 --> 00:15:01,870 Oh, okay, fine. No, no, you don't understand what I'm saying. 164 00:15:02,110 --> 00:15:05,190 When I say don't open that closet door, 165 00:15:06,010 --> 00:15:07,330 I mean, for... 166 00:17:47,590 --> 00:17:49,310 Breakfast with the ghost of Christmas past. 167 00:17:50,930 --> 00:17:53,890 How about that? It's a yuppie ghost story. 168 00:17:56,870 --> 00:17:57,870 Well, 169 00:18:01,190 --> 00:18:05,630 a few laughs, a little decapitation, a good old -fashioned comedy. 170 00:18:05,930 --> 00:18:07,670 I wonder what else is happening. 171 00:18:19,200 --> 00:18:21,160 That's cute, but you're breaking our reality there. 172 00:18:21,720 --> 00:18:22,720 Oh, sorry. 173 00:18:23,460 --> 00:18:25,980 Pay no attention to me, Kermit. I'm still not here. 174 00:18:27,080 --> 00:18:28,820 It's that pre -recorded Gonzo again. 175 00:18:29,120 --> 00:18:32,160 See? Even though I'm gone, you still can't get rid of me. 176 00:18:32,440 --> 00:18:34,800 That figures. You're not all here even when you are here. 177 00:18:35,260 --> 00:18:36,420 Hey, wait a second. 178 00:18:36,640 --> 00:18:38,060 You just got an idea. 179 00:19:12,650 --> 00:19:15,130 Look at Camilla. Blue ribbon. Third year in a row. 180 00:19:15,430 --> 00:19:16,329 Oh, good. 181 00:19:16,330 --> 00:19:19,150 And I'm ready to do the closing number like you wanted. 182 00:19:19,390 --> 00:19:20,109 Hey, hey. 183 00:19:20,110 --> 00:19:23,810 Hey, you don't have to. Guess what? While you were out at the ghost story, 184 00:19:24,050 --> 00:19:28,690 Buster Poindexter videotaped a great musical number for us. Fantastic. That 185 00:19:28,690 --> 00:19:30,450 be our closing. Come on, let's put it on the machine. 186 00:19:30,770 --> 00:19:33,870 Hey, I had my heart set on being in the closing number. 187 00:19:34,510 --> 00:19:35,510 Tape is rolling. 188 00:19:36,250 --> 00:19:37,250 Uh -huh. 189 00:19:37,310 --> 00:19:41,810 And now, through the magic of videotape, Muppet Television proudly presents Mr. 190 00:19:42,010 --> 00:19:43,130 Buster. Poindexter. 191 00:19:44,270 --> 00:19:45,270 Thank you, Kermit. 192 00:19:45,510 --> 00:19:48,230 You know, I was hoping that you'd be here to join in the number with us. 193 00:19:48,430 --> 00:19:49,430 What? 194 00:19:49,570 --> 00:19:53,830 Kermit, did you hear me? Come join us. I don't know what's happening here. 195 00:19:54,370 --> 00:19:55,450 I'm talking to you. 196 00:19:55,770 --> 00:20:00,110 But you can't be. You're on videotape. You can't be talking to me. Sure I can. 197 00:20:00,230 --> 00:20:01,950 It's a little trick Gonzo taught me. 198 00:20:02,230 --> 00:20:03,230 Oh, good grief. 199 00:20:03,510 --> 00:20:04,510 Now, come on. 200 00:20:04,530 --> 00:20:08,510 Join me. Be serious. You're on videotape and I'm here live in the control room. 201 00:20:08,570 --> 00:20:09,570 It can't be done. 202 00:20:12,300 --> 00:20:13,300 And the technology... 203 00:23:59,370 --> 00:24:02,070 The Jim Henson Hour will return after these messages. 204 00:24:03,830 --> 00:24:05,970 Now, here comes the story with the lion in it. 205 00:24:07,230 --> 00:24:11,130 Oh, Kermit and the gang sent you that. That's a pedestal to put your Emmy on. 206 00:24:11,770 --> 00:24:14,350 It's a bit premature, I think, but we'll soon see. 207 00:24:14,950 --> 00:24:20,090 Here's John Hurt as the storyteller and a romantic tale known as The True Bride. 208 00:24:33,040 --> 00:24:37,500 Trolls come at the bottom of the list of people you'd want as friends. They are 209 00:24:37,500 --> 00:24:41,100 revolting trolls. They can't even stand each other. 210 00:24:41,640 --> 00:24:45,900 The troll in this story had a daughter, and she left home straight off. 211 00:24:46,720 --> 00:24:52,060 In her place, the troll found an orphan, a young girl to wait on him hand and 212 00:24:52,060 --> 00:24:53,060 foot. 213 00:24:53,240 --> 00:24:56,740 But this girl had more in store than to do for a troll. 214 00:24:57,440 --> 00:24:58,480 Oh, no. 215 00:24:59,340 --> 00:25:00,920 She had a destiny. 216 00:25:13,390 --> 00:25:18,630 Tanya had no father and mother, and the troll was the other. So she obeyed him, 217 00:25:18,650 --> 00:25:19,650 cruel though he was. 218 00:25:20,190 --> 00:25:23,430 But one thing the troll could not abide was obedience. 219 00:25:23,970 --> 00:25:26,510 Of course, if she didn't obey him, woe betide her. 220 00:25:27,450 --> 00:25:31,410 I should have said, trolls are always contradicting themselves. 221 00:25:34,350 --> 00:25:38,150 And the troll liked to contradict himself with a heavy stick. 222 00:25:38,760 --> 00:25:43,060 It made a horrid sound as it flew through the air and onto the poor girl's 223 00:25:43,420 --> 00:25:45,760 Blue, he contradicted on her back. 224 00:25:46,100 --> 00:25:47,440 Black and blue. 225 00:25:48,100 --> 00:25:49,800 I'm off with that. 226 00:25:54,060 --> 00:25:58,280 Inside this sack are being 20 pounds of feathers. 227 00:26:00,020 --> 00:26:03,520 Strip them and pack them before I come back. 228 00:26:03,840 --> 00:26:04,860 Yes, sir. 229 00:26:06,460 --> 00:26:13,070 And remember, I'm being allergic to feathers. A single one upsets my 230 00:26:13,070 --> 00:26:18,210 nose, a quivering and a quaking, a shimmying and a shaking, and I don't 231 00:26:19,070 --> 00:26:23,250 Be thank you to me, and full of great. 232 00:26:23,790 --> 00:26:26,110 That's impossible by herself. 233 00:26:26,310 --> 00:26:27,410 That's not fair. 234 00:26:27,770 --> 00:26:28,770 I know. 235 00:26:28,830 --> 00:26:34,230 She plucks and cleans and packs and packs, but still the feathers fill the 236 00:26:34,350 --> 00:26:36,350 still the feathers fight the sacks. 237 00:26:44,210 --> 00:26:45,350 Don't be frightened. 238 00:26:46,410 --> 00:26:47,910 I've come to help you. 239 00:26:48,230 --> 00:26:49,430 Where have you come from? 240 00:26:49,870 --> 00:26:50,870 From your thought. 241 00:26:51,310 --> 00:26:55,750 Is there no one in the wide world to take pity on me, you thought? 242 00:26:56,490 --> 00:26:57,490 Well, there is. 243 00:26:58,110 --> 00:26:59,470 And here I am. 244 00:27:00,450 --> 00:27:02,330 Now, you're tired. 245 00:27:02,790 --> 00:27:04,730 Sleep. I cannot. 246 00:27:05,530 --> 00:27:07,570 The troll is my father and mother. 247 00:27:08,950 --> 00:27:13,170 Since I have no other, I must obey him. Trust me. 248 00:27:14,860 --> 00:27:19,800 Sleep. Thus persuaded, Anya lay down and fell into a slumber. 249 00:27:21,620 --> 00:27:24,320 And when she woke, what a sight. 250 00:27:24,740 --> 00:27:26,220 What a wonder. 251 00:27:32,900 --> 00:27:33,900 Thank you. 252 00:27:36,420 --> 00:27:38,800 I've recurred. Yes, sir. 253 00:27:41,060 --> 00:27:42,060 You've done it. 254 00:27:43,050 --> 00:27:44,490 Have you done them all? 255 00:27:45,170 --> 00:27:48,490 I'm gassed and flabbered. I'm frowned and dumb. 256 00:27:49,910 --> 00:27:51,370 Was that a smile? 257 00:27:51,710 --> 00:27:55,370 No. No, sir. I don't like smiles. 258 00:27:56,050 --> 00:27:57,790 Get to bed without this supper. 259 00:28:00,010 --> 00:28:01,010 George! 260 00:28:08,650 --> 00:28:12,050 Arise and wiki. I'm having another job for you. 261 00:28:21,520 --> 00:28:22,980 Observe this pond. 262 00:28:23,720 --> 00:28:25,280 Deep, you'd say. 263 00:28:25,700 --> 00:28:27,740 And you'd be right. 264 00:28:28,540 --> 00:28:30,320 Depths aplenty. 265 00:28:33,000 --> 00:28:34,000 Drain it. 266 00:28:34,920 --> 00:28:37,040 Drain it with your spoon. 267 00:28:38,320 --> 00:28:45,240 And if I be recurring and find a drop of water, if I so much as get my pussy 268 00:28:45,240 --> 00:28:49,180 wet, heaven help me. 269 00:29:06,010 --> 00:29:07,010 Anya. 270 00:29:07,910 --> 00:29:11,430 Lion, my spoon is full of holes. 271 00:29:11,990 --> 00:29:13,490 You're tired, my little. 272 00:29:13,870 --> 00:29:16,250 Lie down and sleep a while. 273 00:29:16,650 --> 00:29:18,310 No, I dare not. 274 00:29:18,730 --> 00:29:22,050 For my lord the troll will beat me with his terrible stick. 275 00:29:23,250 --> 00:29:24,450 Lie down. 276 00:29:26,470 --> 00:29:32,910 And then the lion pad padded to the pond and drank and drank and drank his fill. 277 00:29:33,030 --> 00:29:36,590 And long before sunset, Had drunk it dry. 278 00:29:38,110 --> 00:29:41,430 Well, I'm recurred. Is the pond dry? 279 00:29:42,110 --> 00:29:43,930 Yes! Yes? 280 00:29:45,050 --> 00:29:46,310 Yes, it is! 281 00:29:46,510 --> 00:29:48,990 How abstractly puriating! 282 00:29:50,110 --> 00:29:51,430 Are we sure? 283 00:29:54,430 --> 00:30:01,310 You may laugh, but the troll's fall cost 284 00:30:01,310 --> 00:30:02,470 the poor girl dear. 285 00:30:02,790 --> 00:30:06,420 That night she could not... Sleep for the colours on her back from the 286 00:30:06,420 --> 00:30:07,640 contradictions to take. 287 00:30:07,900 --> 00:30:11,440 All night she sobbed from its blacks and blues. 288 00:30:12,020 --> 00:30:16,440 And come the morning, the wicked troll has another task, worse than before. 289 00:30:17,260 --> 00:30:18,260 Impossible. 290 00:30:18,820 --> 00:30:20,260 All dry, you think. 291 00:30:20,660 --> 00:30:21,720 All finished. 292 00:30:22,500 --> 00:30:23,640 You'll be wrong. 293 00:30:24,840 --> 00:30:28,020 Now you can build me a palatial. 294 00:30:28,860 --> 00:30:31,480 All the bits, all the pieces. 295 00:30:32,320 --> 00:30:34,000 By nightfall, miss. 296 00:30:36,560 --> 00:30:41,040 Hours later, she's moved one rock a few inches. 297 00:30:44,820 --> 00:30:47,240 Oh, dear lion. 298 00:30:48,200 --> 00:30:50,800 But now even you cannot help me. 299 00:30:51,320 --> 00:30:56,080 I'm to build a palace by nightfall, full of rooms and riches. 300 00:30:56,580 --> 00:30:58,180 You're tired, my little. 301 00:30:58,540 --> 00:31:00,340 Why not rest a while? 302 00:31:00,880 --> 00:31:01,879 I cannot. 303 00:31:01,880 --> 00:31:02,880 I dare not. 304 00:31:03,380 --> 00:31:04,380 Sleep. 305 00:31:04,720 --> 00:31:05,720 Rest. 306 00:31:06,960 --> 00:31:13,840 And sleep she does, lying down beside him. And as she dreams, such magic. 307 00:31:20,340 --> 00:31:23,720 How have you done this? 308 00:31:24,300 --> 00:31:26,380 I know. I know I've not done as you ask. 309 00:31:36,490 --> 00:31:41,270 Dear, oh, dear. The palace is here, but Anya didn't do it. 310 00:31:41,850 --> 00:31:43,690 There is being a contradiction. 311 00:31:44,090 --> 00:31:49,890 And when there's being a contradiction, we have to speak with our friend, don't 312 00:31:49,890 --> 00:31:50,689 you think? 313 00:31:50,690 --> 00:31:52,010 I don't know. Probably. 314 00:31:52,330 --> 00:31:53,490 Very probably. 315 00:31:53,890 --> 00:31:55,410 Certain, in fact. 316 00:31:56,250 --> 00:31:58,090 Look. Rageous. 317 00:31:58,650 --> 00:32:03,910 Absolutely rageous. A whole palace in one day. 318 00:32:06,890 --> 00:32:09,970 This is more like it for an important troll. 319 00:32:23,010 --> 00:32:24,010 Good. 320 00:32:26,750 --> 00:32:28,650 Good. Chicken! 321 00:32:29,010 --> 00:32:30,010 Good. 322 00:32:30,730 --> 00:32:33,650 Yes, sir. And what about cherry? 323 00:32:34,700 --> 00:32:36,400 Is there a celery for wine? 324 00:32:36,620 --> 00:32:37,900 Go and be seeing. 325 00:32:39,060 --> 00:32:40,400 Try that door. 326 00:32:42,800 --> 00:32:43,800 Can't reach. 327 00:32:46,120 --> 00:32:51,720 Let me fetch a line. 328 00:32:52,060 --> 00:32:54,280 A true conceit perfectly clarified. 329 00:33:23,210 --> 00:33:25,570 My little, but wicked and cruel. 330 00:33:26,250 --> 00:33:27,890 I made the palace. 331 00:33:28,130 --> 00:33:30,330 I also made the door. 332 00:33:30,850 --> 00:33:35,330 Good. I hated that troll. He was bad through and through. 333 00:33:35,810 --> 00:33:36,810 Oh, yes. 334 00:33:37,270 --> 00:33:38,370 So then what? 335 00:33:38,610 --> 00:33:42,010 Then our girl has a palace all to herself. 336 00:33:43,450 --> 00:33:45,150 What a transformation. 337 00:33:45,630 --> 00:33:50,710 For the first time in her poor life, Anya feels wonderful. Wonderful. 338 00:34:01,740 --> 00:34:06,940 When word spreads of a lovely thing alone in a grand palace, well, they 339 00:34:06,940 --> 00:34:12,239 her, the suitors, in droves. Prince La -dee -da of here, Prince La -dee -da of 340 00:34:12,239 --> 00:34:16,280 there. But they're a trifle too much La or a little too much Dee and 341 00:34:16,280 --> 00:34:18,239 occasionally plain Da. 342 00:34:19,420 --> 00:34:26,260 And a year goes by until one morning she stands sighing at her window and, oh, 343 00:34:26,300 --> 00:34:27,360 who's this? 344 00:34:28,120 --> 00:34:29,500 He looks up. 345 00:34:29,770 --> 00:34:32,730 She looks down, he smiles, she smiles. 346 00:34:32,989 --> 00:34:35,790 Little fish swim up and down her back. 347 00:34:36,010 --> 00:34:40,550 And suddenly each day she wants flowers in her room, flowers at her table, 348 00:34:40,650 --> 00:34:41,870 flowers for her hair. 349 00:34:42,070 --> 00:34:47,830 And gradually smiles turn to words, and words turn to whispers, and whispers 350 00:34:47,830 --> 00:34:48,870 turn to kisses. 351 00:34:49,730 --> 00:34:50,770 It's love. 352 00:34:51,130 --> 00:34:54,330 She falls for the gardener. Why not? 353 00:34:55,210 --> 00:35:00,050 She was a servant -turned -princess. Why not a gardener -turned -princess? You 354 00:35:00,050 --> 00:35:01,150 were my true bride. 355 00:35:04,570 --> 00:35:05,570 Am I? 356 00:35:06,310 --> 00:35:09,210 Then let no one else ever kiss your cheek. 357 00:35:10,830 --> 00:35:11,830 Never. 358 00:35:12,510 --> 00:35:13,710 Never, ever. 359 00:35:14,370 --> 00:35:15,510 Never, he says. 360 00:35:15,810 --> 00:35:16,810 Never, ever. 361 00:35:17,330 --> 00:35:18,770 But I'm sorry. 362 00:35:19,230 --> 00:35:24,010 Hurt lurk. Pain prowls. Sorrow simmers. 363 00:35:24,440 --> 00:35:25,780 Why? What happened? 364 00:35:26,000 --> 00:35:28,120 Does a troll come back? Oh, no. 365 00:35:28,440 --> 00:35:29,440 No? 366 00:35:29,960 --> 00:35:32,760 Well, yes, in a manner of speaking. 367 00:35:33,800 --> 00:35:35,160 Yes, he does. 368 00:35:38,400 --> 00:35:41,340 And his wedding day is beckoning. 369 00:35:42,560 --> 00:35:47,140 A beloved sets off one morning the long journey to the village. He has 370 00:35:47,140 --> 00:35:50,280 appointments with the tailor and the barber and the shoemaker. 371 00:35:50,840 --> 00:35:52,520 Spruced up he's going to be. 372 00:35:53,870 --> 00:35:54,870 Won't you come? 373 00:35:55,270 --> 00:35:59,550 No. There is my true soul to soul, and you mustn't see it. 374 00:36:00,130 --> 00:36:02,530 But I'll count the minutes until you are home. 375 00:36:03,190 --> 00:36:04,290 And she does. 376 00:36:04,530 --> 00:36:09,150 She counts the minutes, counts them into the hour when the lamps must be lit, 377 00:36:09,270 --> 00:36:14,770 counts them as fear curdles her stomach, counts the minutes as they turn into 378 00:36:14,770 --> 00:36:17,470 days, as the tears begin to come. 379 00:36:18,210 --> 00:36:22,090 One, two, three. Where were they? 380 00:36:22,650 --> 00:36:23,650 No one knew. 381 00:36:24,110 --> 00:36:27,410 And Anya could stand it no longer. 382 00:36:27,930 --> 00:36:31,150 She set out alone in search of her sweetheart. 383 00:36:32,110 --> 00:36:36,170 Until one day she finds herself wandering in the snow. 384 00:36:37,710 --> 00:36:40,390 Lost and dejected. 385 00:36:41,090 --> 00:36:42,090 Anya. 386 00:36:45,030 --> 00:36:51,140 And without a word, the lion sets Anya on his back and starts... Soft, bounding 387 00:36:51,140 --> 00:36:56,280 through the snow, huge strides, impossible speeds over cliff and cavern, 388 00:36:56,280 --> 00:37:01,260 and chasm, cave and canyon, helter -skelter to a far -off land. 389 00:37:01,680 --> 00:37:06,300 And there, in sight of a town, the lion set her down. 390 00:37:10,440 --> 00:37:12,480 Now you must go. 391 00:37:13,120 --> 00:37:14,180 Take these. 392 00:37:14,980 --> 00:37:16,400 Inside there are gifts. 393 00:37:17,120 --> 00:37:18,500 Use them wisely. 394 00:37:19,850 --> 00:37:22,130 Thank you, dearest lion. 395 00:37:23,470 --> 00:37:27,170 And Anya walks on, carrying the three gifts. 396 00:37:30,490 --> 00:37:31,710 My beloved! 397 00:37:32,150 --> 00:37:33,330 My darling! 398 00:37:33,810 --> 00:37:40,250 She cries, and the rider looks at her, tips his hat, smiles politely, and 399 00:37:40,250 --> 00:37:41,810 continues on his way. 400 00:37:42,190 --> 00:37:43,190 Wait! 401 00:37:43,430 --> 00:37:44,830 Please, wait! 402 00:37:46,970 --> 00:37:48,730 No, no, she cries. 403 00:37:49,050 --> 00:37:51,750 But it can't be. It can't be. The troll. 404 00:37:52,090 --> 00:37:54,330 It can't be. He's dead. 405 00:37:55,230 --> 00:38:00,390 And then she sees a pigtail, a diamond earring, a hint of silk at the throat. 406 00:38:00,810 --> 00:38:02,030 It's not the troll. 407 00:38:02,430 --> 00:38:08,230 It must be. It can't be. But it must be his daughter. 408 00:38:09,230 --> 00:38:12,450 It is. It is the troll's daughter. 409 00:38:12,880 --> 00:38:16,820 Twice as ugly, twice as foul, and she's riding off with her beloved. 410 00:38:17,080 --> 00:38:19,500 Oh, Anya's dumbfounded. How? 411 00:38:19,780 --> 00:38:22,820 And what's happened to her darling? He's forgotten her? 412 00:38:23,100 --> 00:38:27,560 She's searched the world for him and he's forgotten her? He's gone off with a 413 00:38:27,560 --> 00:38:28,560 trollop? 414 00:38:29,000 --> 00:38:35,340 But then her resolve strengthens. I am the true bride and he my beloved. 415 00:38:35,600 --> 00:38:38,160 And off she sets, determined. 416 00:38:39,370 --> 00:38:43,770 On her way to the town, she meets a man who tells her about the troll's 417 00:38:43,770 --> 00:38:48,090 daughter, the Trollope. She went to visit her dad, but he disappeared. 418 00:38:48,490 --> 00:38:51,570 She met a handsome prince and brought him back to her castle. 419 00:38:52,170 --> 00:38:53,430 He's under her spell. 420 00:38:53,890 --> 00:38:56,270 They're betrothed. That Trollope's so greedy. 421 00:38:56,670 --> 00:39:02,670 Sees gold, she wants it. Silver, she snatches it. She collects handsome men 422 00:39:02,670 --> 00:39:03,670 ornaments. 423 00:39:04,150 --> 00:39:07,470 My ornament, she calls them. 424 00:39:09,040 --> 00:39:15,900 So instructed, Anya hurried to the town, a scheme forming, a plan. 425 00:39:27,000 --> 00:39:30,440 Oi, that's being lovely, prettiness. 426 00:39:30,740 --> 00:39:32,420 I need it. 427 00:39:32,680 --> 00:39:34,460 Madam? I'm descending. 428 00:39:35,080 --> 00:39:36,920 Is there a cost involved? 429 00:39:38,060 --> 00:39:40,520 I'm expecting it's a gift for your queen. 430 00:39:41,000 --> 00:39:43,520 How kind. And thank you. 431 00:39:43,780 --> 00:39:44,940 It's magic, your majesty. 432 00:39:45,300 --> 00:39:46,820 It cannot be sold. 433 00:39:47,480 --> 00:39:48,680 Only exchanged. 434 00:39:50,120 --> 00:39:51,700 Exchanged? For what? 435 00:39:52,140 --> 00:39:53,520 Be more clarified. 436 00:39:54,500 --> 00:39:56,840 A knight with your betrothed. 437 00:39:57,780 --> 00:39:59,400 With my new ornament? 438 00:40:00,500 --> 00:40:04,200 Rager! Then you must keep what is yours and me what is mine. 439 00:40:05,480 --> 00:40:06,900 Milk. Yum. 440 00:40:07,920 --> 00:40:08,718 Stay, Your Highness. 441 00:40:08,720 --> 00:40:10,520 No. Back, back. 442 00:40:12,300 --> 00:40:14,320 A night with my ornament. 443 00:40:14,960 --> 00:40:17,100 And it's very sweetheart, you know. 444 00:40:17,360 --> 00:40:21,820 How generous I'm being for such a small magic. 445 00:40:23,560 --> 00:40:25,500 Yes. All right. 446 00:40:25,840 --> 00:40:26,840 Yes. 447 00:40:27,240 --> 00:40:33,120 Yes. The bargain is struck. The true bride to spend a night with her beloved. 448 00:40:36,800 --> 00:40:38,980 Once alone, he'll know me. 449 00:40:39,360 --> 00:40:40,440 My love. 450 00:40:42,380 --> 00:40:43,380 My dear. 451 00:40:44,280 --> 00:40:45,280 It's me. 452 00:40:45,720 --> 00:40:46,960 Your true bride. 453 00:40:47,400 --> 00:40:48,460 But he wouldn't wake. 454 00:40:48,720 --> 00:40:49,658 Please wake up. 455 00:40:49,660 --> 00:40:50,700 Couldn't wake. Please. 456 00:40:51,000 --> 00:40:55,560 And how could he? For in the cup by his bed was a sleeping herb. 457 00:40:56,520 --> 00:41:00,100 Powerful. Lasts all night until morning. 458 00:41:00,720 --> 00:41:02,460 What can our girl do? 459 00:41:03,020 --> 00:41:04,820 The bargain's been kept. 460 00:41:05,800 --> 00:41:07,480 The first gift wasted. 461 00:41:08,300 --> 00:41:11,580 What can she do but try again? 462 00:41:16,260 --> 00:41:20,680 Impossible. Magic. Coin after coin dropped to the ground. 463 00:41:20,880 --> 00:41:26,580 The trollop can't believe it. Boy, I can't believe it. 464 00:41:26,800 --> 00:41:29,060 Quick, quick. The trollop wants the deal struck. 465 00:41:29,480 --> 00:41:34,260 And once again, a knight with the beloved swapped for the endless gold 466 00:41:36,110 --> 00:41:38,390 That night, the same story. 467 00:41:42,770 --> 00:41:45,770 Darling. Whispers the true bride. 468 00:41:46,790 --> 00:41:49,310 Beloved. But to no avail. 469 00:41:49,850 --> 00:41:56,290 As for the prince himself, his days are vague, his nights dreamless. 470 00:41:56,490 --> 00:41:59,210 Stop him and ask him his thoughts, and what would they be? 471 00:42:00,010 --> 00:42:02,050 Oh, oh, well. 472 00:42:03,340 --> 00:42:06,280 The trollop has rubbed away his past with a wicked spell. 473 00:42:07,020 --> 00:42:11,580 He hasn't heard his true love singing the night through, weeping in the 474 00:42:12,020 --> 00:42:14,100 Oh, he says, well. 475 00:42:15,620 --> 00:42:21,080 But the prisoners have, their eyes blinking in the black, their ears sharp. 476 00:42:21,280 --> 00:42:25,940 they've heard the clink of gold, but also the true bride's lament. 477 00:42:27,160 --> 00:42:32,800 So the next day, when the prince is walking the ramparts, they call out to 478 00:42:36,840 --> 00:42:39,580 Sleep at night that the beauty is singing by your bed. 479 00:42:40,860 --> 00:42:43,900 Beloved, she calls you, and dearest. 480 00:42:44,420 --> 00:42:46,920 Your true bride, she cries. 481 00:42:47,460 --> 00:42:49,600 I am your true bride. 482 00:42:50,220 --> 00:42:51,440 When do you hear these things? 483 00:42:52,280 --> 00:42:53,280 All night. 484 00:42:53,920 --> 00:42:55,120 All night. 485 00:42:55,840 --> 00:42:57,280 He's heard nothing. 486 00:42:57,880 --> 00:42:59,900 Who is his true bride? 487 00:43:00,220 --> 00:43:01,720 He's very confused. 488 00:43:02,080 --> 00:43:05,720 Very. And you see, he sleeps so deeply. 489 00:43:06,250 --> 00:43:10,090 Every night he has his drink, then sleeps so deeply. 490 00:43:11,890 --> 00:43:16,470 Oi, oi, I'm being so impatient for a new toy. 491 00:43:16,770 --> 00:43:19,130 Let me see, let me see. 492 00:43:21,410 --> 00:43:27,870 Oh, so meable, so agreeable. 493 00:43:28,450 --> 00:43:31,850 I need them. And the deal is struck. 494 00:43:33,900 --> 00:43:35,760 Hanya arrives for her vigil. 495 00:43:36,080 --> 00:43:38,160 The final gift gone. 496 00:43:38,680 --> 00:43:40,300 Will you never wake? 497 00:43:48,920 --> 00:43:50,080 Don't cry. 498 00:43:52,280 --> 00:43:53,280 What? 499 00:43:54,500 --> 00:43:55,500 What? 500 00:43:57,000 --> 00:43:58,780 Oh, my darling. 501 00:43:59,640 --> 00:44:01,560 No, not there. 502 00:44:03,240 --> 00:44:08,080 I promise you see, I'm not on my cheek. 503 00:44:08,580 --> 00:44:15,400 Me? You promised me. And with that, she kissed him. And the trollop spell over 504 00:44:15,400 --> 00:44:16,400 him fell away. 505 00:44:16,660 --> 00:44:18,180 And his head cleared. 506 00:44:18,780 --> 00:44:20,560 Such a tender kiss. 507 00:44:20,940 --> 00:44:22,840 Such sweetness of cheek. 508 00:44:23,180 --> 00:44:24,520 My true bride. 509 00:44:24,800 --> 00:44:25,800 He whispers. 510 00:44:31,440 --> 00:44:36,400 At the very same moment, in the vaults of the castle, a strange thing happens. 511 00:44:36,680 --> 00:44:37,720 Very odd. 512 00:45:05,800 --> 00:45:10,240 closes on them, nearer and nearer, until she must surely catch them. 513 00:45:17,440 --> 00:45:21,800 But look! She can't believe it! Look who's here! 514 00:45:22,220 --> 00:45:26,000 On his back they clamber at offy speeds, pounding the barren lands, huge 515 00:45:26,000 --> 00:45:29,340 strides, impossible speeds, over cliff and cabin, crevasse and chasm, cave and 516 00:45:29,340 --> 00:45:30,720 canyon, help to skelter! 517 00:45:30,980 --> 00:45:31,980 Oh! 518 00:45:32,480 --> 00:45:33,680 They made it! 519 00:45:34,960 --> 00:45:35,819 I made it. 520 00:45:35,820 --> 00:45:36,880 Thank you, lion. 521 00:45:37,180 --> 00:45:40,140 And inside, lock the door, catch up their breath. 522 00:45:41,960 --> 00:45:47,760 They light a fire and exchange their stories. And in between hugs and all the 523 00:45:47,760 --> 00:45:53,460 wild kisses, the lion tosses back his proud mane and pads away, leaving the 524 00:45:53,460 --> 00:45:56,680 lovers, but not before a final task unseen. 525 00:45:57,540 --> 00:46:00,580 What? Ah, well, who have we forgotten? 526 00:46:00,880 --> 00:46:03,420 The trollop. Where is she? 527 00:46:03,920 --> 00:46:09,200 I don't know. Miles away, over cliff and cavern, crevice and chasm... Oh, no, 528 00:46:09,220 --> 00:46:13,400 no, no, no! By the time the true bride and her beloved settle down to sleep, 529 00:46:13,720 --> 00:46:15,820 she's arrived at the palace. 530 00:46:16,580 --> 00:46:22,600 Once inside, he sniffed for them, her nostrils twitching and heaving, planning 531 00:46:22,600 --> 00:46:23,600 her revenge. 532 00:46:24,040 --> 00:46:29,820 There, her nose tells her, and stealing up, she hears their voices, clear and 533 00:46:29,820 --> 00:46:32,640 unsuspecting, behind the door. 534 00:46:37,800 --> 00:46:41,640 And from that day, our lovers lived peacefully. 535 00:46:42,640 --> 00:46:46,080 Babies came to bless them and the sun forever shone. 536 00:46:46,400 --> 00:46:51,100 And they kept a statue of the lion, whom they both called the Thorpe Lion. 537 00:46:51,480 --> 00:46:54,920 And they told their children he could come alive in an instant if he wanted 538 00:46:55,040 --> 00:46:56,620 or if they ever needed him. 539 00:46:57,460 --> 00:46:59,660 But the children found that hard to believe. 540 00:47:20,820 --> 00:47:21,980 You were great in that. 541 00:47:22,800 --> 00:47:23,800 Wasn't he terrific? 542 00:47:24,500 --> 00:47:27,020 But listen, now how come you never told us you could talk? 543 00:47:27,820 --> 00:47:28,820 Hmm? 544 00:47:29,940 --> 00:47:31,100 Are you going to talk anymore? 545 00:47:32,980 --> 00:47:34,120 Come on, speak to us. 546 00:47:35,920 --> 00:47:39,560 I have nothing further to say. 547 00:47:40,900 --> 00:47:43,400 Well, maybe he will next week. We'll see you then.